Chapter 10

I run into the house. I make a lasagna. Ran out of cottage cheese and had to get more. Gherkin ate 24 oz. by herself. She is 3. Sheesh!!
Still wearing my Realtor clothes, I finish up and grab the supplies for our craft tonight. We are making sleighs. Microwave popcorn, check. Candy Canes, check. Hot Chocolate pks, check. Tape, check. Ribbon, check. Ok.
Knock and in comes 3 very nervous girls and Brad. "This is Lorianne. I have to run to work, I will see you after I get done." he races out.
I don't know what I expected...Wasn't that though.

We all stare at each other. Nicole stares the longest. She doesn't say much yet. Watches every move I make though.
Princess jumps all over me and Soccer Angel sits back and asks odd questions. I ask if they have ever done stunts. Physical stunts. Princess talks a mile a minute. I sit on the floor and Sir jumps on my back. Not comfortable. I ask him to get down. He swings himself around my neck. He is trying to show off. "Stop." I command.
Suddenly he crushes my esophogas. I can't breathe. I swing him off me and flip him over my shoulder. He is wearing swishy pants. I slap his little butt. "Are you even wearing underwear?" I demand. Doesn't feel like it. "YES!" I have mortified him. He is mad. He pouts off to the side. "You hurt me. I couldn't breathe." I explain.
"Sorry." They fall into peals of laughter. "She said UNDERWEAR!" It is going to be a long night.
Nicole still sits back and stares. Watching every move I make. Studying every child and their reactions. Kind of unnerving.
Princess and Sir and Soccer Angel let me teach them flips and spins and elements of swing dance. We clear out the dining room that I don't use as one anyway. This is so fun. I start getting tired. Beep. Beep. Beep.
"Lasagna is done. Come one you guys." everyone stops. No one moves. "Aren't you hungry? It's 6 pm." vigorous shaking of the heads. "OK." I turn it down to warm. We start playing games and talk about Christmas Traditions.
Knock at my door.
Who is that? I wonder and bound down my little stairs at the back door. Ex.
"Oh, no....." I forgot.
"They aren't quite ready. I forgot it was your weekend." I explain.
"You forgot?" he acts like I am the stupidest person on the earth.
"We were playing...They haven't eaten." I let him in the kitchen. Start putting 6 pieces of lasagna in a ziploc. I don't have anything else.
"What is that?" he asks suspiciously.
"Dinner. I said they hadn't ate yet. There is enough for you too."
He acts offended but I notice he takes it and makes sure it gets to his car. He LOVES lasagna.
"Cookie Monster needs 1 tsp. of tylenol for teething pain. She is due now. Do you have any?" I notify him.
"NO. Who is this?" he points at the girls. I introduce everyone. "Your watching his KIDS now? What is going on with you two?" he demands.
I shove a liquid tylenol at him. "My only bottle, please return it." I am not happy.
"I have to give it to her?"
"You can't handle it?" what the heck?
He makes a big deal out of it. Spills it all over his hands. "Can I wash my hands? Is that still allowed?" he is mad.
I point to the sink.
I gather coats and shoes. He heads to the bathroom. I come back with all their winter gear. He is still in the bathroom. Kids are all staring at each other back and forth.
I knock on the door. I hear the bathroom cupboards close.
Thought Processes Not Repeatable.
The kids load up and I close the door. Awfully quiet when you have only 3 and they aren't sure what to think of the exchange that just took place.
"Want to eat now?" vigorous shaking of the heads again.
"Maybe you would like to see some dogs?" that gets a response. I change into jeans and a casual nice shirt. My last outfit was Realtor clothes. Nothing even remotely close to immodest. Keep this in mind.
We get in the van and Nicole speaks."So are you dating my Dad?" real casual like.
"I think you should ask him that."
"Are you dating my DAD?" repetition seems to be her strong point all the sudden. She won;t give up and gets LOUDER and LOUDER. I turn on the radio. Louder. They start laughing. Brad Paisley is singing.
Well I'll never forget the first time that I heard
That pretty mouth say that dirty word
And I can't even remember now what she backed my truck into
But she covered her mouth and her face got red And she just looked so darn cute
That I couldn't even act like I was mad
Yeah I live for little moments like that

Well that's just like last year on my birthday
She lost all track of time and burnt the cake
And every smoke detector in the house was goin' off
And she was just about the cry until I took her in my arms
And I tried not to let her see me laugh
Yeah I live for little moments like that

I know she's not perfect but she tries so hard for me
And I thank God that she isn't 'cause how boring would that be
It's the little imperfections it's the sudden change in plans
When she misreads the directions and we're lost but holdin' hands
Yeah I live for little moments like that

When she's layin' on my shoulder on the sofa in the dark
And about the time she falls asleep so does my right arm
And I want so bad to move it 'cause it's tinglin' and it's numb
But she looks so much like an angel that I don't wanna wake her up
Yeah I live for little moments
When she steals my heart again and doesn't even know it
Yeah I live for little moments like that

"So, is that what my Dad says to you? Is that why you like that song?"
I divert her attention by playing speedbuggy with my van. Arrroomazoomzoom.
They fall apart again.
"Are you dating my Dad?" not again.
She finds her manners at Susanne's house and they love the dogs. Who couldn't? They are labs. Their only complaint is that they are BIG dogs.
I respond, "If they were any smaller, they would be cats in dog suits."
They tell me about their little dogs at home. Ooops!

We travel back home and play a little in the van. I point out a GTO, a Monte Carlo, Firebird, and a Chevelle.
We goof around and pretend to race the GTO.
Go back home. Brad is going to wonder if he gets back to my house and no one is there.
We pull in and get unpacked.
I sit in the living room.

Princess comes up to me and confidently asks, "So, do you work at Hooters?"
I choke on my own spit.
Nicole looks like if she could burst her into flames with her eyeballs, she would right now.
"What? Do you?" she pressures.
"No. I am a Realtor." I answer evenly. What is she thinking??? I don't want to know.
Soccer Angel came up with some doozies as well, but her's were scripted and told to ask by adults so I won't give them space here. We start picking up.
Brad comes in. "Hey Monkeys!!" they run and jump in his arms. It is LOUD all of the sudden.
"What did you have for dinner?" he asks.
"Nothing." Soccer Angel states. Like I hadn't offered them anything.
"I'm starving!" he says and looks at me expectantly. He could smell the lasagna. All the sudden it was ok to eat. Maybe they thought I would poison them. :)
"So did you have a good time?" they chatter excitedly back and forth and I am watching them interact.
Nicole asks the Million Dollar Question. "Are you dating her?" she is not going to drop this.
"Do you want me to?" he teases.
Screaming Yes's are heard. Hope this is a good sign.
"Is she going to be like our Mom?" Princess demands. She is right in his face.
"Do you want her to be?" he teases them again.
Princess and Soccer Angel go crazy. Nicole surveys the situation. I can't tell her thoughts. Only that she is taking it all in. We take a few pictures. Brad sends them out to the car.
He kisses me and says, "See that wasn't so bad." They get out and are planted against the door and listening seeing what they can hear. Strange to me.
He says I'll call you when they are in bed.

I am so tired. It is so QUIET. Going from 7 full of energy to 0. Is quite a transition for one day. I read my scriptures. Brad calls. We are now in the habit of reading scriptures together after he is off work and praying before bed. "So, how did it go?" he is obviously wide awake. "Not too bad." I laugh outloud. "Unless you count being asked if I worked at Hooters."
He doesn't take this well. He is mad. Really mad.
"They wouldn't have done that if I was there." he apologizes profusely. I decide not to tell him the rest. We'll tell him later I decide.
"Don't worry, I'll take care of it." he promises.