Chapter 11

"I need help." Brad says as he comes in.
I am sitting in the rocker holding a miserable baby in low light. I just leave the door unlocked now.
"Shhh!" I hush.
He kneels down on one knee. "What is wrong with her?"
She has hand, foot and mouth. She was licking carts at Walmart again." I whisper.
She is miserable. I feel so bad. She comes down with the worst things. Why she has to lick shopping carts... so gross.
He puts his hand over her forehead. "It's going to be a long night." I predict.
I lay her down on the couch. She snuggles into her blanket and I place my hand on her back until she settles back into a deep sleep. I place my finger to my lips towards Brad.
He smiles.
We go to the other side of the room.
"What is it?"
"Well, I was talking to your atheist friend today. He said, "Explain Dinosaurs." So I want you to look it up and tell me where and what to say."

"What?"

We discuss how the theory of evolution and creationism don't necessarily cancel out each other. I pull out Science Books and The Bible. We find lots of similarities.
6 am and the kids come down the stairs. Brad is still studying and writing notes in his notebook. I am passed out cold in my scriptures. He feeds them and sends them off and leaves me a note with a smurf drawn on it holding a flower. Brad stops by after work. His family has been teasing him saying he has been out lady charming.

Valentines Day. We spend the day moving a friend. Helping him pack, clean and move into the Barbie Mansion. Very Pink. Brad hugs me and says, "Aww, our first Valentine's such a moving experience." We both enjoy serving others so it isn't an issue with me. Later that evening I am totally surprised. Brad comes in with a box of candy and a card. I look at him quizically and thank him.
"Holly made me feel guilty. She said you don't spend a valentine's day moving other people, with no candy or anything." I laugh at him.

Cookie Monster's birthday. Brad had to go try to pick up his children. He didn't get them, but that wasn't the point. He wanted them to see him and KNOW no matter what, he tried to see them. He knew it was an exercise in futility. He was hurrying to get back in time for her birthday party. Most everyone was already there. I had made a big cake and dinner. Everyone was mingling and laughing about the Winnie The Pooh Monster trucks climbing each other. Brad breezes in and announces "Sorry, I was in an accident." he tells this insane long and involved story. I am really worried. I didn't want him going by himself in the first place. He uses my phone and I realize he just lied to me. The story isn't exactly true. I glide over to a table and pick up a handful of skittles. I wait until he turns around. He grins. I tell him I don't like being lied too. I take aim and volley one. Smacks him in the front tooth. He is shocked. I repeat, "Don't lie to me." I finish my skittles and walk away.
He gives her a monkey and it becomes her best friend and accompanies her EVERYWHERE for the next four years until the washer ate it. She was devastated.

"We need to talk." these are words no one ever wants to hear. Something is going to change if you do. Brad looks scared. Nothing like I am feeling in my heart though. We already are totally committed and devoted to each other. He has been talking about marriage and slipping it into almost every conversation. I was worried we were getting too close. I didn't want to make a mistake. I tell him my feelings. He cradles them carefully. It is hard for me to be open and trust that my feelings are ok and will not be used against me and manipulate me. I am learning, stretching, growing and healing though. I find I really can trust him. He tells me his feelings. We acknowledge and hold each other close. What do we do now? He leaves for work.
I kneel down in prayer and offer up my entire soul. Warts and all. I ask What wilt Thou have me do? I leave no stone unturned in my heart. My knees ache and my back is tight. My eyes are red and swollen. My heart, however is full. To bursting, my cup runneth over and I am peaceful. I call one of my best friends. I set up a time for the afternoon to come and have a Priesthood Blessing. He doesn't hesitate, and clears his schedule. I am amazed at his sacrifice. I know it doesn't come easily, but he knows I am in need. He is more than willing.
He welcomes me into his home. I tell him that I know that it is fast, but that we are seriously considering marrying.
He looks at me, and isn't very happy. He counsels me. He doesn't know him. Only met briefly. He extends an invitation to have us over for dinner. He is afraid that I am going to get hurt. He wants me to wait a little while. I am not offended. He begins the blessing. Tears flow like a fountain covering both our faces. I look up to thank him. "I am sorry. Please disregard everything I said before." I smile and give him a big hug. Everything told me not to fear and go forward with faith and lots of other things too.
I go home smiling and a happier heart, if that is possible. I get home and Brad is waiting for me. He is smiling too. He gathers me in his arms. He tells me his daily events. It is identical to mine. His Priesthood holder was 1 1/2 a way from mine and they had never met. The blessings were word for word in most places. We laugh and exchange stories all evening. He asks me what kind of wedding I want.

Brad shows up to church and Karen stops him in the hallway. "Have you asked that girl to marry you yet?" "No." he responds. "Fix it." she smiles and laughs.
The Bishop stops him after church. "Have you asked her to marry you?" "No."
"You can still repent."

We realize that we will have to wait a year to be married in Nauvoo since I was previously sealed before. He isn't being very helpful. SO we decide just to marry civilly. Plan to be sealed in one years time. We start making plans. Brad calls his daughters. "What would you think if I told you I was going to marry Lorianne?" varied answers, but all positive. We set a date. It was the only date everyone we wanted to be there, could come. We call Brad's Bishop and ask him to marry us. He is overjoyed. "I can't think of a better way to spend MY wedding anniversary than to marry you." We are so excited. Brad calls his ex and tells her the date. Doesn't go well and he says, "She won't let them come. She said No. Absolutely not." he is devastated. We cry together.

"Please???" Plan B is really good at begging. Brad and I agree. Read a quick story at the elementary school, eat lunch and back to work. He picks me up at work. We meet her at her class. I forget how SHORT these lunch tables are. Brad holds my hand as I try to get my high heels stuck in there without tearing my nylons.
Brad shows them all at the table different annoying faces. The kids LOVE it.
We race her to her room. Her teacher greets us. Poor girl, she has no idea how her day is going to drastically change. Me either.
Brad picks up a book after she introduces us. Clifford, The Big, Blue, Kitty! He reads it, changing everything in the entire story. It was a lot more fun the way he read it. Laughter echoes through the room. The teacher has lost it. Brad is in his element. We get done, and one little boy grabs his sleeve and says "Will you come to recess???" cheers start up. "Recess! Recess! Recess!!" the teacher tells us we would be more than welcome. We check our watches, why not?"
There are around 100 kids on the playground. Brad starts a rousing game of tag. The teachers file out. The take their positions. Brad winks at me. He tells the kids its time for Simon Says. He has them do sit ups, mountain climbers, turn right, turn left, circle ME in a mosh pit. They are all screaming and going crazy. Then he tells them to get the teacher. They take off and she screams and runs. Finally he calls them off. They all hug us and ask us to come back. It was polite of them to include me. I know they meant him.

Things have a way of changing quickly in our life. One week before the wedding and I am sitting in my house. All alone. Brad hurries in and starts making phonecalls. He tells me, "I am kidnapping you. You need dress clothes, pj's and comfy clothes. Hurry, we don't have much time."
"You're kidnapping me?"
"Yes. I'm busy calling everyone so they can come to the wedding. Our invites won't make it in time. Go!!"
"Fine. Did not know being kidnapped could be fun."
I haphazardly grab things and we fill the van. It starts to dawn on me I have never met anyone but Brian in his family. He has met everyone in my family.
"Where are we going?" I ask.
"I want you to meet my Dad. You are going to LOVE it. His wife Kathie, she is going to adore you! You have a lot in common." he gushes.
"Sounds like fun!" I am listening to him try to explain how in less than 6 months, we are marrying to people he hasn't talked to in a year or more. He is going on about how hard it has been to wait this long.

He loads my stuff and picks me up and carries me to the van. He opens the door, and buckles me, kissing me softly. "I can't wait to marry you." he whispers. I love this man.
He has an unending supply of stories and tells me all about growing up with his Dad. I am so happy to meet him. Can't wait. He grabs my cellphone. I'm going to call him! He dials. "What are you doing?" he asks. "I would like you to meet someone." "The woman I am marrying next Saturday!" he is quiet. Really quiet. I start hearing a female voice getting louder. It is not a happy voice, it is quite angry. After 20 minutes, I finally get really loud and demand, "Does she even WANT to meet me?" "Yes. She wants to meet you!" he lies. He tries to make me feel better. I have never wore so much make-up in my life. I am so nervous, I just keep applying it. I can't imagine why someone would be so opposed to me without ever meeting me.
We pull up and they meet us. His Dad pulls me in for a big hug and I feel right at ease. He was so welcoming and just made me laugh so much. He was so kind. His wife was angry. We talked to them for a while and she makes beds for us to sleep in. It was an interesting evening.
The next morning his Dad asked me if I wanted any coffee. I declined. He asked why. I said, "Anything that tastes so bad that you have to cover with that much creamer and sugar is not worth drinking to me." he didn't bat an eyelash. He just pushed the creamer and sugar in front of me.