Chapter 13

"So, how did you plan the hitchhiker?" I ask.
"I didn't, it evolved." he laughs. "You thought I planned that?" he laughs again.
It is Sunday about midnight. We have been awake sooo long again. "Can we get something to eat? It is after midnight. We wouldn't be breaking the sabbath." I try.
"Sure!" he readily agrees. He pulls into a all night pancake house. We walk in and it is not like anything I have ever seen before. The whole back of the store is a grill and the short order cook. The front is packed tight with tables and chairs. Even at this late hour, they serve a fair amount. The first people I notice are old and rednecks. They are bent over their coffee and conversing about mudding and farming. Tractors this and that. One shakes his head and mutters "Kids." I look up to see the reason for his disgruntled behavior. There a few tables down is a group of junior rednecks. Brad pulls out my chair and I sit down. He looks at a menu and smiles to himself.
"What?" I ask.
"Nothing, I just forgot how strong my accent used to be as I listen to these guys." he states.
I listen carefully. "You used to talk like that?"
"Probably worse." he admits, still smiling.
Suddenly, the young folk get loud. One starts, "I hate this place, ain't got no jobs, no women... Bubba! Sing me a Sowng." (Song for those not from Missouri)
People really call each other Bubba? I thought that was just a Hollywood funny thing.
Nope, it's true.
They all call each other Bubba.
Then he starts, softer in the beginning than increases in noise to a really old, bad country song.
Brad's shoulders start shaking. He is trying so hard to keep the laughter in, his eyes are getting wet, and the nostrils flare.
The old guys look up and down upon the youngsters. They are really annoyed, but they keep drinking their coffee and discuss what a disgrace this younger generation has become. Brad hurries to finish his pancakes. Me too.
"So," he pulls me from my seat. "What do you think? Not only do you meet my family, you get proposed to, with a cameraman, I might add, AND you get dinner AND serenaded. Not bad huh? Just think of all the ways Heavenly Father could bless your life being my wife."
We bust out laughing, pay our bill and walk out. It is going to be a long drive home. We still have 5 hours and we are dead tired. We take turns driving, and sleeping but finally give it up and sleep for a short while on the side of the road. We make it to Susanne's. We show her the ring and she is ecstatic. We take pictures and wake the kids up and pile them in the van. We drive another hour home. Susanne is FULL of wedding ideas. "It's less than a week! What do you have planned?"
"Colors."
"Lorianne!" she gets to work.
We get the kids to school, and I give up. I go to sleep...

"Shenita, I need to find a wedding dress." She runs all over the state helping me look everywhere. We run in and out of stores. I hate shopping, so this is really funny to me.
We look everywhere and everyone is calling my cellphone. "Are cowboy boots ok for table centerpieces?"
I really don't care. I just want simple.
"What are you you serving for dinner?"
"Not."
"You can't not."
"Can."
"Lorianne, you make me crazy!"
"Yep."

Next thing I knew, it was a Cowboy Chuckwagon Theme. Whatever. I continue looking for the DRESS. Finding clothes for the kids. Brad makes some last minute calls to Ex to plead the case that they need to be there. He places a call to the attorney. Next thing I know it is the day before the wedding and she calls and says we can pick them up FRIDAY NIGHT. No earlier than 7 pm. It is a 5 hour drive and we are getting married an hour past that at 10 am. I can no longer pick up my dress as we have to make a run to get kids and FIND them dress clothes now that match everyone elses.
Suddenly things become a little more stressful.

"Well, I don't know what you are talking about Brad. They could've come all along. If you needed them earlier you should've said something." she looks at me like I may be roadkill and then smiles.
"Make sure they are home early on Sunday. They have school, ya know." she smiles sweetly again.
Brad mutters under his breath as we walk away.
We RUN to the stores that are still open. We race from store to store. Princess can't agree to anything. She only wants things that are way too old for her or immodest. She is getting on my nerves. We have 15 minutes left before the stores close. Finally we make the purchases. It will have to do. We drive home. We arrive about 2 am. We have to be up at 6 am to get everyone dressed and their hair done. Plus, I have to pick up my dress and HOPE they didn't sell it.

My phone rings. I groggily answer it. Brian. "HELLO!" he says cheerily. I look up at the clock. "CRAP!" I throw the phone at Brad and make a mad dash to wake everyone up. The alarm didn't go off. I tell him to thank him for waking us up. We can't be late!!! Everyone rushes around like crazy. Curling irons flashing left and right.
Sprays fill the bathroom like a smoke screen. 7 girls in the house make a BIG difference. Suddenly I am very grateful for the 2 bathrooms in my house. Brad is trying to find someplace to shave. Sir Talks A Lot is anxiously licking his lips, hoping it will calm his nerves as his life is thrown out of whack. My phone rings again. "Could you bring Salad Dressing on your way into to town?"
"Salad Dressing???"
"Yeah."
"Ok, I am late, gotta go." I push everyone out the door and into the van.

I run into the store. "Do you still have the white, floor length dress?" I am out of breath from running across the Mall. She takes her sweet time finding it. Whew. I whip out my cash.
WalMart.
I run in and grab a couple bottles of Salad Dressing. Waiting in line is KILLING me. I am supposed to be at the Church and I haven't checked on the cake.
Someone spots me in line. "Aren't you getting married in an hour."
"Yeah. If I get out of WalMart." I still have a 20 minute drive.
We run to the cake. It is gorgeous.
Of course.
My Mom made it.
I hide my vehicle at my Mom's. I have heard about his brothers.
I don't factor in my kids or sisters disloyalty.
I run up to the Church and change my clothes and hide my bags, make up and personal items in the bathroom that shouldn't be used today. All out of the way.
I look in the Cultural Hall and am surprised to see everything ready. It is so beautiful. I didn't even lift a finger. It was transformed like magic.
Everyone is busy placing flowers and getting excited. The Bishop calls Brad and I into his office. I thought the groom wasn't supposed to see the Bride in the dress? Guess that tradition is out the door. Oh well. We offer a prayer and he gives us a run down of how it will go. He wishes us well and tells how glad he is we are getting married and how far he has seen us come. We congratulate him on his anniversary. I hug him and Brad shakes his hand. They excuse themselves and leave me standing alone outside the door of the Chapel.
My Dad comes up and takes my arm.
"I'm scared." I look at him.
He grunts and then smiles.
"Time to go."
The music has started. Canon in D. My favorite.
We step in. Everyone stands. I forgot that would happen. I am surprised and feel the tears stinging at my eyes. Keep inside I tell them. PLEASE!!! They stay right at the rim. Thank You, I silently pray. I blink them away.
I look at Brad. He is wearing a Black Suit, Purple Tie and Black Cowboy Boots. He looks sharp. I stand next to him and our kids line up behind us. All 7. Brian is on one side and Susanne on the other. Brian stands at attention and looks regal. Susanne looks like she could burst with happiness.
The Bishop offers us wise counsel, which we really don't hear as we stand looking at each other. I am sure it was sound though, he is a really good guy.
I am vaguely aware that others are here. Glance quickly at the crowd. I get scared again. I look up at Brad again. His warm brown eyes envelope me and I am fine.
The rings?
Susanne passes me his ring.
Brian looks up and down.
He checks his pockets.
He pulls out a napkin and spreads it on the sacrament table.
Next search brings out silverware.
He sets it out.
He checks another area of his suit.
This time turns up an apple. He places that on the sacrament table as well.
Finally, he brings out a sandwich and sets it with the rest of his bounty.
I don't have ANY idea how he kept it all hidden so well.
He never speaks a word.
He looks perplexed.
The light dawns and he points his first finger to the sky. Oh!
He nods his head.
He removes his SHOE.
He reveals a white sock with the toes cut out.
He takes my ring from off his TOES.
Laughter peals through out the Church.
My eyes widen in disbelief.
He places it in Brad's hand.
Then quickly squirts a 1/4 cup of KY Jelly on top.
"There, that oughta help." he finally speaks.
"Does that come with anti-fungal creme?" I ask.
The Bishop falls against the wooden banister. He laughs out loud.
We place our rings and I take my bouquet and strike Brian in the head. Flowers fly everywhere. So much for a Bridesmaid toss.
"You are a dork." I inform him in case no one had told him lately.
We greet everyone and welcome them into the Cultural Hall. We don't really know what to do. We wing it. We sign our marriage license and it is set on the table for everyone to see.
My cousin's son writes me a beautiful poem and draws pictures to go along with it. I am so touched. It is beautiful.
My Mom says we have to eat.
Eat? I don't want to eat! I am a klutz and I am all in white. She insists, so we gather the kids up and seat them. Everyone else takes their seats. Someone offers a blessing on the food. We look up and Susanne and Brian are motioning to us. We join them by the gorgeous cake.
Someone hands up goblets filled with white grape juice and sprite.
Susanne begins. She welcomes everyone and tells them how grateful she is to have brought us together and some other mushy stuff.
Brian takes over. He has an envelope in his hand. Covered in scribbles. He has pilfered it from his Mom's purse and frantically wrote out his toast.

"Ahem!
Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue.
I'm glad that I found the ring in my shoe.

Lorianne, I am flattered you think I'm hot.
But your 5 years too late, You missed your shot.

The man you are marrying is quite a looker,
Although his cologne makes him smell like a hooker.

Toast to my brother and his beautiful wife,
Your stuck with each other for the rest of your life!

I look over and see my great aunts looking at each other and wondering what he is talking about.
I toy with the idea of tossing my drink at him but think better of it. I laugh instead.

"Anymore surprises?" I ask my husband. "Most likely?" he says." I was a pain in the butt at there weddings. There was a ground assault on Brian's wedding cake with little green army guys and unmentionables at Steve's. Kevin never invited us or we would've done something there too."
"Nice." I look around suspiciously and decide to guard the cake myself.
We eat quickly.
Brad and I go up to serve everyone cake.
"Go sit down, you can't cut the cake yourself."
"Why not?" We decide then and there we are serving everyone.
We cut pieces for ourselves and shove too big of pieces in, but not messy.
We cut the cake and serve everyone. It was so fun. My brother in law, Dan starts playing music.
We clear out tables for the dance. Everyone helps clean up.
Our photographer takes a few shots.
We share our first dance.
From Here To Eternity by Michael Peterson

The Song Fit Perfectly! We even took pictures from our first date and proposal and lined them up with the words and it hangs in our bedroom.

I did everything I could to get you here tonight
Without telling you why
Now girl if you only would, please hold out your hand
Just close your eyes
I've been dying to ask you one burning question
Will you be mine?

From here to eternity
I'm asking you to share your life with me
Now and forever I guarantee, I'll always stay by your side
I promise my love to you
I'm willing and able and ready to
Whatever you need
I am here for you, and I'll always be
From here to eternity

I saved a year for this ring
I can't wait to see
How it looks on your hand
I'll give you everything that one woman needs
From a one woman man
I'll be strong I'll be tender a man of my word
I will be yours.

From here to eternity
I'm asking you to share your life with me
Now and forever I guarantee, I'll always stay by your side
I promise my love to you
I'm willing and able and ready to
Whatever you need
I am here for you, and I'll always be
From here to eternity


Now, it gets interesting.....