Chapter 8

We climb into my van and he goes on about The Red Green Show.
"I can't BELIEVE you called it the Possum Lodge! That's a beautiful piece of machinery. CLASSIC." he laments.
It is one of my favorite shows. "If the women don't find you handsome, they might as well find you handy." I recite.
I giggle.
I think he is both handsome and handy.
Not telling him that though. I may be a smart mouth, but I am a big chicken with saying what I feel. Easier to make jokes.
It is dark and cool out. The stars are amazing. He turns the heat up. I start getting drowsy. I don't have the benefit of being able to go to sleep at 4 am and not have to be anywhere until 1pm. My day starts at 6 am regardless. Cat naps in the evening don't do much for me.
He starts talking about trucks, mudding, and old cars.
I smile and make noises periodically so he thinks I am paying attention.
I hear what he is saying, but it isn't registering much. Every once in a while, I will make a connection and offer a snippet of my Chevelle growing up, or various other cars I drove. I can identify a lot of OLD cars, but am far from a motor head. I can hold my own for a while but then I have to change the subject. Hunks of metal can only hold my attention for so long.
He is totally oblivious to my predicament. My eyes are so heavy. I adjust myself in the seat so I am now sideways looking at him.
Dooesn't help.
I still find myself head bobbing. I am trying to think of something to change the subject. His voice is so nice and soothing and comforting and warmmmm.
Suddenly, a thought enters my mind.

This is the man you will marry.

What??? Now I am wide awake, nothing could possibly induce sleep, now.
I look at him. Why? I cock my head and try to understand. This man who is funny, charming and sweet. Ok, but he is still talking about mudding and climbing with trucks.

"Shenita and I once went rock climbing in my Chevelle. Not on purpose though." I add to his story.
He looks at me.
"Really?" he isn't sure if I am pulling his leg.
"No, really. It is a funny story, but makes me look like an idiot, but anyway, yeah, my Dad had to pull a fender back when we were done." He laughs trying to imagine me in my pumpkin colored Chevelle climbing rocks around Hell Road.
I am awake for every bit of the trip now devouring every word he says wondering....

We have to stop and get gas. He refuses to let me pump or pay.
Hmmm. I like that.
He opens the door for me to get back in. (He still does. LOVE that.)
We drive to whatever the town is past Nauvoo, and climb down the embankment. We have to cross a set of railroad tracks. He grabs my hand and helps me step over. He guides me carefully down the steep terrain. We laid out a quilt to sit on and another to put over our shoulders. It was cold. We sit and watch the light come up over and cast it's rays gradually on the Mississippi River. Reeds sporadically make their way up at the rivers edge. There is a light splashing sounds as various animals waken around the rivers edge. It isn't quite over the Temple yet. It is getting brighter though. Such beauty, quiet.
Brad speaks softly. He is sitting behind me keeping me warm. "Can you imagine what it must have been like?"
"What?" I murmur.
"What is what like for the Saints." he paused reverently."Making their way across the ice, dragging their families, knowing they would never likely see their homes or families again. I can't even imagine."
"I don't have to wonder. I know." I state firmly. I turn into him and face him.
"They are my family. I have portions of their diaries. I know what they felt like."
I turn back around to look at the water.

"Won't this be a great story to tell our grandkids?"

I pretend I didn't hear that. Who says that on a first date????
I tell one story I remember about a young man who's toddler sibling dies of exposure after being forced out and how he feels. Brad doesn't say anything but I hear him breathe slowly and feel his shoulders slump. It affects him.

I turn and look at him again. He guides my chin and pulls me close and kisses me. Gun Shots ring out. Or maybe it was Fireworks. He kisses me again. More Gun Shots if you ask Brad, Fireworks if you ask me. Every time he kisses me, shots are fired. We both end up laughing. We gather our stuff and as he helps me climb back up the hill he wonders if it's my ex hiding in the bushes. Pretending to be a hunter.

We walk around the town of Nauvoo. It is AMAZING. I have never seen ANYTHING like this before. People dress in period costumes. They tell stories of the time and this section of town is JUST like walking in the 1800's. Everything is the same and refurbished to make it real. Wow. We visit the Scovil Bakery and they give us free cookies and a piece of bread baked in a bustle oven. Delicious. We wander farther and find the Browning Gunsmith Shoppe. We receive a tour explaining how they built the guns and get to feel everything. We got to the Post Office, everywhere. Arm in Arm. Brad taking pictures. He has an uncanny ability to line up shots. He took a picture of our first kiss, walking down the streets and asked me to stop every few minutes and stand in front of statues in the Garden of Women. "If only everyone respected how important Women are in the Creator's Plan. If we only we realized how treasured they are in His eyes." he muses.
We keep walking.
"How would you like a horse drawn carriage ride?" he asks.
"Sure, I have never been on one." He walks me over to the 45 min tour. We are the only ones there. I sit down and he covers me with a blanket. It is chilly, but as he snuggles in beside me and wraps his arm protectively about me, I am soon cozy. We listen to the sound of the tour guides voice. The horses amble on.
One must be sick.
He tossed Road Apples every few inches and smelled really bad.

Really bad.

The quilt soon became more of something to plug our noses with than provide warmth.
Eventually we lulled into a comfortable slumber though with the rhythmic clopping and voice of the Tour Guide.
I wakened to find Brad asleep with his head on top of mine. Out cold. I quickly fell back asleep.

We got done there and the Guides took our pictures. I don't even know how many people asked us how long we have been married that day. We would giggle and say it was our first date.

We looked at the time and knew we had to hurry if we were going to make Carthage before it closed.

We made it barely in time and saw the 15 min Joseph Smith movie. I use the term "saw" loosely. We mostly slept through it. After the lady turned the lights back on, I am SURE she was surprised to have to waken us. We felt more than a little silly. We toured Carthage and was impressed by what we felt there. Before we had left, we had agreed to fast for our first date for 24 hours and break our fast after Carthage with dinner. Brad wanted to eat on the banks of the river again. We gathered our stuff and laid out a quilt.
We offered our prayer and it started to rain. Brad took out another quilt and make a shelter. It rained harder. Soon we were wet, cold and now holding HEAVY quilts above our heads.
He finally agreed to get up. He wanted to eat in one of the display covered wagons. I didn't know if we should. He made his case and I vetoed.
We found a shelter close by with seats. We sat on the floor.
I looked around and said, "These are the names of those who died here. Look here is my family!"
He looked and we found other names.
We sat back down to finish our dinner. We were listening to the sound of the rain and watching it drip off the semi-circle top. It was so beautiful.
The river was still right in front of us.
He looked at me and kissed me again.

Could this day possibly last forever? I had never felt like such a princess, nor cherished.
Reality came crashing back to me in a hurry. I got scared.
"Brad?" I said seriously. Tears started to fill my eyes.
"What's wrong?" he is really worried.
"I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want my kids to hurt. If you aren't serious about me, I want you to tell me now. Now would be easier than later."
"I don't want to be in your life to hurt you." he said wiping the tears spilling from my eyes that I couldn't have stopped if I had tried.
"I just want to be with you and enjoy you and learn everything there is to know about you. I don't plan on going anywhere. Unless you ask me too." he said just as serious back. He picked up my hand and pulled me to his side. "Let's go play!" he shouted. We ran in the rain and filled the van back up.

Soon we were out of breath. We slowed our pace and climbed the hill up to the Temple.
It was late in the evening and dark. The Temple was closed. We wandered the courtyard and talked about what we wanted in life. Where we wanted to be married. Here. What steps we were willing to take in life to make that possible. What type of person we wanted to marry, what our goals and plans were. He was pinpointed in what type of person he wanted to share the rest of his life with.
After Brad asked if I wanted Hot Chocolate. We stopped at a bar in town that served food. We asked for Hot Chocolate. They served us and took our picture. I have never had so many pictures of myself in my life.
We decide it is time to go back home. I still have an hour drive after our 3 hour drive home.
We climb back into the van and I drive this time.
We turn on the radio.

I got no money in my pockets
I got a hole in my jeans
I had a job and I lost it
But it won't get to me

'Cause I'm ridin' with my baby
and it's a brand new day
We're on the wheels of an angel
Flyin' away

And the sun is shinin'
This road keeps windin'
Through the prettiest country
From Georgia to Tennessee
And I got the one I love beside me
My troubles behind me
I'm alive and I'm free
Who wouldn't wanna be me

Every where we turn the station, this song is playing. Over and Over.
All the way home.
We pull into my drive and I am so happy. I really don't want this date that has lasted over 24 hours to end.
Responsibilities call and I need to pick up my kids. He drives off in the Possum Lodge van and my little blue van seems so empty and quiet now.
I turn on the highway and he is ahead of me. I can see his taillights in the dark.
I call Susanne and tell her I am on my way back and give her an estimated time.
I hang up singing to myself and thinking back over the details of this date. It seems to trite to call it a date, but whatever it was...that's what it was.
My phone rings and jostles me from my daydream.
"Hello?" I answer cheerily.
"Hi." is the icy response. Ooops. Not my sister.
Conversation doesn't go well. I stop the van and pull over no more taillights. I hang up the phone and crumble. The tears won't stop. A small knock at my window.
"Are you ok?" he asked concerned. He sees my tear stained face and mascara rubbed every where.
"Yeah, umm, fine, just tired." I frantically search for a kleenex to blow my nose and wipe my face. "I'm ok. How did you know I was here?"
"I just felt like I needed to turn around. What happened?"
I quickly explain. "it's ok though."
"He's a knucklehead." he says simply.
He gives me a hug and checks my oil. Tells me to be careful and offers to drive me to my sisters. "No, really. I am ok. You have to get home."
I smile. He gives me one last kiss and I drive off. He won't pull out until I do and follows me to his turn off.
I turn off my phone.